Why do I need a wali?
Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allah be pleased with him) that he heard the Prophet ﷺ say: “No man should be alone with a woman unless there is a mahram present.” [Bukhaari (5233) and Muslim (1341)]
“Indeed, no man is alone with a woman but the Shaytaan is the third one present.” [Tirmidhi (2165)]
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said: "The basic principle is that anything that is a means that leads to fitnah (temptation) is not permissible, because the means that lead to mischief must be barred, if that is not outweighed by a greater interest." [Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa (15/419)]
The Prophet ﷺ, said “Allah has decreed for the son of Adam his share of zina, which he will inevitably get. The zina of the eyes is looking and the zina of the tongue is speaking. The heart wishes and hopes, and the private part confirms that or denies it.” [Bukhaari (6243), Muslim (2657)]
Simply put, free-mixing between men and women is not permitted in Islam. Islam came to protect the honour of the people. Before Islam, women did not have many rights. Islam gave women rights, and gave her a high status. The wali is a mechanism which helps protect her honour, protect her against men who have bad intentions, prevents wasting time, energy, and trauma in dead-end haraam relationships. He is her counsel, advising her on how to select a righteous husband. He is the shield that will prevent men from taking advantage of her. Further, the nikah contract is only valid with the permission of the woman's wali: The Prophet ﷺ said: “There is no marriage contract except with a wali and two witnesses.” [al-Tabarani; see also Sahih al-Jami’, 7558]
Can't I just talk to men without a wali? I can look after myself!
Aside from the above evidences prohibiting free-mixing, we only need to look at the fitnah around us, the zina that occurs and the huge divorce rates to know that something is very wrong with the popular way of doing things. The years of wasted time on haraam relationships, the trauma it causes. We need to make a change and return to the way that is prescribed by Islam.
Can the wali be a female?
He should be male, as the Prophet ﷺ said: “No woman may conduct the marriage contract of another woman, and no woman can conduct the marriage contract on behalf of her own self, because the zaniyah (fornicatress, adulteress) is the one who arranges things on her own behalf.” [Ibn Majah, 1782; see also Sahih al-Jami’, 7298]
The conditions of the wali
- He should be of sound mind
- He should be an adult
- He should be free (not a slave)
- He should be a Muslim.
- He should be of good character (‘adalah – includes piety, attitude, conduct, etc.), as opposed to being corrupt. This is a condition laid down by some scholars, although some of them regard the outward appearance of good character as being sufficient, and some say that it is enough if he is judged as being able to pay proper attention to the interests of the woman for whom he is acting as wali in the matter of her marriage.
- He should be male, as the Prophet ﷺ said: “No woman may conduct the marriage contract of another woman, and no woman can conduct the marriage contract on behalf of her own self, because the zaniyah (fornicatress, adulteress) is the one who arranges things on her own behalf.” [Ibn Majah, 1782; see also Sahih al-Jami’, 7298]
- He should be wise and mature, which means being able to understand matters of compatibility and the interests of marriage.
So who can be the wali?
The jurists put possible walis in a certain order, and a wali who is more closely-related should not be ignored unless there is no such person or the relatives do not meet the specified conditions.
- A woman’s wali is her father,
- then whoever her father may have appointed before his death,
- then her paternal grandfather or great-grandfather,
- then her son, then his sons or grandsons,
- then her brother through both parents (full brother),
- then her brother through her father,
- then the sons of her brother through both parents,
- then the sons of her brother through her father,
- then her uncle (her father’s brother through both parents),
- then her father’s brother through the father,
- then the sons of her father’s brother though both parents,
- then the sons of her father’s brother through the father,
- then whoever is more closely related, and so on – as is the case with inheritance.
- The Muslim leader (or his deputy, such as a judge) is the wali for any woman who does not have a wali of her own.
I don't have a wali available from my family - what now?
If no man from your family is available, then a righteous person will be appointed to you from your community - the best first point of contact is the imam at your masjid and he will arrange this for you in sha Allah.
If you don’t have a local masjid, you can do a quick Google search for masaajid in your area that are upon the Qur’an and sunnah. If you don’t have masaajid near you, then perhaps in the closest major city from you, and then further afield. Communication can be done entirely by phone, email, WhatsApp etc. It may take some time and effort to find a suitable wali, make dua, have sabr and make efforts to find someone in sha Allah.
Conclusion
The wali plays a crucial role in the lives of Muslim females, especially in matters of marriage. Rooted in the Qur'an and supported by authentic hadith, the institution of the wali ensures the protection, guidance, and well-being of Muslim women throughout the marriage process. While the father is generally given the highest priority as the wali, the Islamic teachings provide a specific order of priority for the appointment of the wali, ensuring the woman's interests are safeguarded and her consent is sought. Understanding the role of the wali and their involvement in the matchmaking process allows us to appreciate the wisdom behind this Islamic practice and recognize its significance in promoting the welfare and rights of Muslim women.
And Allah knows best.