Getting married isn't just about finding the right person. It's about becoming the right person.
You can have the best intentions, a decent income, and family support, but if you haven't developed the daily habits that make a good husband, you're setting yourself up for struggle.
Marriage will expose every weakness you've managed to hide as a single man. Your impatience. Your inability to communicate. Your poor time management. Your lack of discipline. The way you handle stress, money, and responsibility.
The brothers who thrive in marriage aren't the ones who got lucky with an "easy" wife. They're the ones who built the right habits before they even met her.
So if you're serious about getting married in 2026, or you're already in the process, here are the 10 essential habits you need to develop now. Not next year. Not after you get married. Now.
These aren't suggestions. They're foundations.
1. Pray All Five Daily Prayers on Time
This isn't just a habit. It's the foundation of everything else.
If you can't discipline yourself to pray five times a day, how will you lead a household spiritually? How will you wake up for Fajr when your wife and children need you to set the example? How will you make time for your wife's needs when you can't even make time for Allah?
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:
"The first matter that the slave will be brought to account for on the Day of Judgment is the prayer. If it is sound, then the rest of his deeds will be sound. And if it is bad, then the rest of his deeds will be bad."
[Sunan al-Tirmidhi 413]
Your salah reflects your discipline, your priorities, and your relationship with Allah. A man who prays consistently is a man who can commit. A man who skips prayers or rushes through them carelessly shows he struggles with basic responsibility.
How to Build This Habit
- Set alarms for all five prayer times
- Pray in the masjid when possible (builds community and accountability)
- If you miss Fajr, wake up earlier tomorrow, not "I'll make it up later"
- Track your prayers for 30 days, be honest with yourself
- Find a prayer buddy who checks in on you
Why This Matters for Marriage
Your wife will look to you for spiritual leadership. Your children will model their Islam on what they see you do. If you're inconsistent with Allah, you'll be inconsistent with them.
Start now. Make salah on time non-negotiable.
2. Manage Your Money Like an Adult
One of the biggest sources of marital conflict is money. Not because there isn't enough, but because one or both partners don't know how to manage what they have.
If you're in your 20s or 30s and still don't budget, still impulse buy, still don't know where your money goes each month, you're not ready to provide for a family.
Allah ﷻ says:
"And give to the women their dower as a free gift, but if they of themselves be pleased to give up to you a portion of it, then eat it with enjoyment and with wholesome result."
[Qur'an 4:4]
Marriage comes with financial responsibilities: mahr, walimah, rent, bills, groceries, children, emergencies. You need to know how to earn, save, spend wisely, and give.
How to Build This Habit
- Track every penny you spend for 30 days (use an app like Money Dashboard or a simple spreadsheet)
- Create a realistic monthly budget (housing, food, transport, savings, giving)
- Build an emergency fund (aim for 3 to 6 months of expenses)
- Learn the difference between needs and wants
- Give regular sadaqah, even if it's small (builds barakah in your wealth)
What This Looks Like Practically
- You know exactly how much you earn and spend each month
- You have savings for mahr and wedding costs
- You can cover rent, bills, and groceries for two people
- You can handle an unexpected £500 expense without panic
Why This Matters for Marriage
Your wife deserves financial security and transparency. You're Islamically responsible to provide for her. If you can't manage your own money, how will you manage a household budget?
Financial discipline now means financial peace later.
3. Know How To Cook at Least 5 Simple, Healthy Meals
No, your wife is not your personal chef. Yes, you need to know how to feed yourself.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ helped with household chores, mended his own clothes, and prepared his own food when needed. He didn't sit around waiting to be served.
Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) was asked what the Prophet ﷺ did in his house, and she said:
"He was in the service of his family."
[Sahih al-Bukhari 676]
This is golden advice, to be prepared when it is needed - e.g. When your wife is ill.
How to Build This Habit
- Learn to cook 5 simple, nutritious meals (pasta, rice and chicken, omelettes, stir-fry, sandwiches)
- Learn basic meal prep (saves time and money)
- Don't just rely on takeaways or your mum for every meal
Meals Every Man Should Know
- Scrambled eggs and toast (5 minutes, breakfast sorted)
- Chicken and rice (one pot, filling, cheap)
- Pasta with tomato sauce (easy, versatile)
- Stir-fried vegetables with protein (quick, healthy)
- Simple sandwich or wrap (lunch on the go)
Why This Matters for Marriage
In times of sickness and general need, she'll need help. If you can't feed yourself, you're adding to her burden instead of sharing it.
The 10-Minute Nightly Reset
Before bed, spend 10 minutes:
- Putting things back where they belong
- Wiping down kitchen surfaces
- Organising tomorrow's clothes
- Preparing for Fajr (wudu bottle, prayer mat, alarm)
Why This Matters for Marriage
Cleanliness is part of faith. The Prophet ﷺ said:
"Cleanliness is half of faith."
[Sahih Muslim 223]
Your wife isn't your mother. She shouldn't have to pick up after you like you're a child. Clean your own space, and help maintain shared spaces.
Respect her time and energy by being a functioning adult.
5. Communicate Clearly and Respectfully
Most marital problems aren't actually about the issue at hand. They're about how the couple communicates (or fails to communicate) about the issue.
If you can't express your needs clearly, listen actively, or discuss disagreements without yelling or shutting down, you're going to struggle in marriage.
How to Build This Habit
Practice active listening:
- When someone talks, actually listen instead of planning your response
- Repeat back what you heard: "So what you're saying is..."
- Ask clarifying questions instead of assuming
Learn to express emotions:
- "I feel frustrated when..." not "You always..."
- Use "I" statements, not "you" accusations
- Be specific about what you need
Handle conflict maturely:
- Don't yell, insult, or bring up the past
- Take a break if you're too angry to talk calmly
- Focus on solving the problem, not winning the argument
- Apologise when you're wrong, sincerely
The Prophet ﷺ said:
"The strong man is not the one who can wrestle, but the strong man is the one who controls himself when he is angry."
[Sahih al-Bukhari 6114]
Practice Now With
- Your mother (how do you handle disagreements with her?)
- Your siblings (can you communicate calmly with them?)
- Your friends (can you express needs without being passive or aggressive?)
- Your colleagues (can you give and receive feedback professionally?)
Why This Matters for Marriage
Your wife can't read your mind. You can't read hers. You'll need to talk about money, intimacy, family, children, work, stress, and a thousand other things.
If you can't communicate now, you won't magically learn after nikah.
6. Exercise Regularly and Take Care of Your Health
Marriage isn't just spiritual and emotional. It's physical too. You need energy, stamina, and good health to fulfil your responsibilities as a husband.
Your body is an amanah (trust) from Allah. Taking care of it is part of your faith.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
"Your body has a right over you."
[Sahih al-Bukhari 5199]
How to Build This Habit
- Exercise 3 to 4 times per week minimum (gym, running, sports, home workouts)
- Eat actual food, not just junk and takeaways
- Sleep 7 to 8 hours (not 4 hours then complain you're tired)
- Drink enough water
- Get regular health checkups
- Maintain basic hygiene (shower daily, brush teeth, trim nails, wear clean clothes)
Simple Exercise Routine
Monday/Thursday: 30 minutes strength training (push-ups, squats, basic weights)
Tuesday/Friday: 30 minutes cardio (running, cycling, swimming)
Wednesday/Saturday: Active rest (walking, stretching, sports with friends)
Sunday: Rest
Why This Matters for Marriage
- You'll need energy for work, family time, intimacy, and worship
- Good health means fewer expenses and less stress
- Physical fitness improves mental health and mood
- You'll be a better husband and father with a healthy body
- Attraction matters; your wife deserves a husband who takes care of himself
Start building strength and stamina now, not after you're married with children and no time.
7. Read Books About Marriage and Relationships
Most brothers enter marriage knowing absolutely nothing about what it actually requires. Then they're shocked when it's hard.
You wouldn't start a business without learning about business. You wouldn't drive a car without learning how to drive. Why would you enter marriage without learning about marriage?
How to Build This Habit
- Read for 20 minutes before bed
- Listen to audiobooks during commute
- Take notes and discuss with married brothers
- Ask married couples you respect for recommendations
Why This Matters for Marriage
Knowledge is power. The more you understand about communication styles, conflict resolution, emotional needs, Islamic rights and responsibilities, and common marriage challenges, the better equipped you'll be to handle them.
Don't learn through trial and error with your wife. Learn beforehand.
8. Build a Consistent Sleep Schedule
If you're staying up until 3 AM scrolling through social media, gaming, or watching videos, then struggling to wake up for Fajr and dragging through the day exhausted, you're not ready for marriage.
Your wife will need you alert, present, and energised. Your job requires you functional. Your worship requires you conscious.
How to Build This Habit
- Set a consistent bedtime (aim for 10 to 11 PM)
- Set a consistent wake time (aim for Fajr or before)
- No screens 1 hour before bed
- Create a nighttime routine (wudu, light reading, dua)
- Make your bedroom conducive to sleep (dark, cool, quiet)
- Avoid caffeine after 3 PM
The Prophetic Sleep Pattern
The Prophet ﷺ would:
- Sleep early after Isha
- Wake for Tahajjud (last third of night)
- Rest briefly after Fajr if needed
- Take a short midday rest (qailulah)
You don't need to follow this exactly, but the principle is clear: structured sleep leads to productive days.
Why This Matters for Marriage
- You can't be a good husband if you're always exhausted
- Intimacy requires energy and presence
- Children (when they come) will disrupt your sleep, you need good habits before that
- Sleep deprivation makes you irritable, impatient, and poor at communication
- Waking for Fajr together is a beautiful part of married life, you need to be able to do it
Fix your sleep now, before you have a wife wondering why you can't wake up for prayer or spend quality time with her.
9. Limit Social Media and Manage Screen Time
If you're spending 4+ hours a day scrolling Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, or YouTube, you have a problem. That's time you're not spending improving yourself, learning your deen, building your career, exercising your body, or developing real relationships.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
"Take benefit of five before five: your youth before your old age, your health before your sickness, your wealth before your poverty, your free time before your preoccupation, and your life before your death."
[Mustadrak al-Hakim, Sahih]
Your free time is precious. Don't waste it on endless scrolling.
How to Build This Habit
- Track your screen time for a week (you'll be shocked)
- Set daily limits on social media apps (2 hours maximum total)
- Delete apps you don't truly need
- Turn off notifications except for essential apps
- Put your phone in another room while working, praying, or eating
- Replace scrolling with reading, exercise, or learning
The Phone Replacement Strategy
Instead of scrolling for 30 minutes:
- Read Qur'an for 10 minutes
- Do 20 minutes of exercise
- Call a friend or family member
- Read part of a book
- Make dua
- Plan your day/week
- Learn something new
Why This Matters for Marriage
- Social media creates unrealistic expectations about relationships, women, and life
- Pornography addiction destroys marriages (if this is a struggle, get help NOW)
- Constant scrolling means you're not present with your wife
- Comparing your marriage to fake online portrayals breeds dissatisfaction
- Time wasted online is time stolen from building your relationship
Your wife deserves your attention, not your distracted presence while you scroll.
10. Make Dua for Your Future Spouse Consistently
This isn't just a habit. It's the most important habit.
Everything else on this list is about you becoming ready. This one is about trusting Allah to bring the right person at the right time.
The Prophet ﷺ taught us:
"Dua is the weapon of the believer."
[Mustadrak al-Hakim 1816]
How to Build This Habit
Daily Duas:
- In your sujood during every salah
- After finishing obligatory prayers
- During the last third of the night if you wake for Tahajjud
- On Fridays
- During Ramadan
What to Ask For
"O Allah, grant me a spouse who helps me grow closer to You, who is the coolness of my eyes in this life and the next, who shares my commitment to Your deen, who brings peace and mercy to our home, with whom I can raise righteous children, who reminds me of You when I forget, who supports me in times of difficulty, and with whom I can attain Your pleasure and Paradise.
And O Allah, make me worthy of such a spouse. Make me a husband who fulfils his responsibilities, honours his commitments, and treats his wife with the mercy and kindness of Your Messenger ﷺ. Ameen."
Also Ask Allah to
- Protect you from the wrong person
- Give you patience during the wait
- Make the process easy and blessed
- Grant barakah in your marriage when it comes
The Power of Consistency
Don't just make dua once and forget. Make it a daily habit. The Prophet ﷺ said:
"Nothing can change the Divine decree except dua."
[Sunan al-Tirmidhi 2139]
Your consistent dua shows Allah your sincerity, your reliance on Him, and your understanding that He is the source of all provision, including your future spouse.
Why This Matters for Marriage
- Allah is the one who brings hearts together
- Your rizq, including your spouse, is written by Allah
- Dua keeps your heart attached to Allah, not just to the idea of marriage
- It builds tawakkul (trust in Allah) which you'll need throughout married life
- The marriage that begins with dua is protected by it
Make dua your foundation, not your backup plan.
The 30-Day Challenge: Build These Habits Before You Start Searching
Here's a practical challenge: commit to building these habits for 30 days before you actively start looking for a spouse.
Week 1: Spiritual Foundation
- Pray all 5 prayers on time, every day
- Make dua for future spouse after every prayer
- Read one chapter from a marriage book
Week 2: Physical Health
- Exercise 4 times
- Cook 3 healthy meals at home
- Sleep schedule: bed by 11 PM, wake for Fajr
Week 3: Life Skills
- Clean your space thoroughly once
- Do laundry and put it away same day
- Budget your finances, track every expense
Week 4: Mental and Emotional
- Limit social media to 2 hours daily
- Practice one difficult conversation (with parent, sibling, friend)
- Read about marriage communication
Daily Non-Negotiables (All 30 Days)
- Five prayers on time
- Make bed in morning
- Clean up after yourself
- No screens 1 hour before bed
- Dua for future spouse
Track your progress honestly. If you can't be consistent for 30 days as a single man, you won't magically become consistent as a married man.
Why These Habits Matter More Than You Think
You might be thinking: "These seem basic. Surely marriage is about bigger things?"
You're right that marriage is about bigger things: love, mercy, partnership, building a family, growing closer to Allah.
But those bigger things are built on these daily habits.
A man who prays inconsistently can't lead his family spiritually. A man who can't budget can't provide financial security. A man who won't clean up after himself creates resentment. A man who can't communicate will struggle with every conflict. A man who doesn't take care of his health won't have energy for his family.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
"The most perfect of believers in faith are those who are best in character, and the best of you are those who are best to their wives."
[Jami' at-Tirmidhi 1162]
Good character isn't abstract. It's shown in daily habits. How you manage your time. How you handle money. How you treat your space. How you speak to people. How you fulfil commitments.
Your habits as a single man predict your behaviour as a married man.
Build good habits now, and you'll be a better husband later.
Your Next Step: Start Today, Not Tomorrow
Don't wait until you find someone to start building these habits. Don't wait until after you're married.
Start today.
Pick one habit from this list. Just one. Build it for 7 days. Then add another. Then another.
And when you're ready to start your search, do it the right way.
Join Sunni Marriage, where serious Muslim men who've done the work connect with serious Muslim women who value what you've built.
🔐 Wali involvement from day one
💍 For brothers who've prepared themselves
🚀 App launching soon, in sha Allah
The best marriages aren't accidents. They're the result of two people who prepared themselves to be good spouses before they even met.
Be that person. Build these habits. And trust that Allah will provide when you're ready.
May Allah grant you the discipline to build these habits, the wisdom to recognise your areas for growth, and a spouse who appreciates the man you've become.
Ameen.
