Assalamu alaikum dear brothers and sisters ✨,
Marriage is not only about finding someone who looks good or makes you laugh — it’s about building a life and raising a family together. The Prophet ﷺ taught us to prioritise faith and character when choosing a spouse, because these are the foundations of a successful marriage.
While everyone has shortcomings, there are certain red flags that should make you pause and reflect before moving forward.
Here are key red flags to watch out for in women before considering marriage:
1. Disrespect for Parents
If she mocks, ignores, or dishonors her parents — especially her mother or wali — don’t assume she will suddenly respect you as her husband.
Allah ﷻ commands in the Qur’an:
“And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents…”
[29:8]
Respect begins at home. A woman who values her parents is more likely to value family ties in marriage.
2. Harsh Tongue
Words can either heal or harm. If she belittles, mocks, or has no filter when angry, the home will not be peaceful. A marriage suffocates without respect.
The Prophet ﷺ reminded us that a believer is not foul in speech and that kindness in words brings barakah. A sharp tongue is a warning sign of deeper character issues.
3. No Sense of Modesty
If she doesn’t value ḥayā’ — whether in dress, speech, or her online presence — she won’t protect your honor when you’re not around.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“The best wealth a man can have is a tongue that remembers Allah, a grateful heart, and a believing wife who helps him in his faith.”
[Ibn Mājah]
A woman’s modesty is her shield — without it, both spouses become vulnerable.
4. No Deen
The Prophet ﷺ was clear:
“A woman is married for four things: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty, and for her religion. So marry the one who is religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).”
[Sahih Muslim 1466]
If deen is not a priority for her, beauty and status won’t hold a marriage together. Faith is what shapes character, mercy, and a shared vision for life.
5. Doesn’t Want Children
Marriage in Islam is not only about companionship, but also about continuing the ummah.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Marry women who are loving and fertile, for I will boast of your great numbers before the other nations on the Day of Resurrection.”
[Sunan Ibn Mājah 1845]
If she strongly rejects the idea of children, this may be a major incompatibility to address before marriage.
6. Obsessed with Dunya & Image
Constant selfies, flaunting online, chasing materialism and social status — these are signs that dunya takes priority over deen.
Beauty fades, but faith, character, and modesty remain. A woman overly concerned with image may struggle to build a stable, God - conscious home.
Final Thoughts
Every person has flaws, but some red flags point to deeper issues that can destroy a marriage. Disrespect, lack of deen, absence of modesty, and obsession with dunya are not small matters — they are serious warning signs.
When choosing a wife, remember the Prophet’s ﷺ advice: prioritize deen and character. These are the qualities that protect your marriage, nurture your children, and bring barakah into your home.
Marriage is not just about finding a partner for today — it’s about securing your akhirah together.
May Allah ﷻ grant every brother a righteous spouse who uplifts his faith, protects his heart, and helps build a home filled with mercy and tranquility. Ameen.