Assalamu alaikum dear brothers and sisters ✨,
Thinking about marriage is exciting, but it can also feel a little scary. What if I make the wrong choice? What if things don’t turn out the way I imagined? These thoughts are completely normal, and you’re not alone in feeling this way. But here’s the good news: Allah ﷻ, the Best of Planners, has given us guidance to navigate this journey with clarity and peace of mind.
Through the wisdom of the Qur’an and the teachings of our beloved Prophet ﷺ, we can approach marriage with hope, trust, and confidence. Let’s break it down together.
Trust That Allah ﷻ Has Your Back
One of the most comforting things about our deen is knowing that we are never alone in our decisions. Allah ﷻ reminds us:
"And whoever relies upon Allah — then He is sufficient for him."
[Surah At-Talaq, 65:3]
That means we do our part — making dua, seeking advice, and taking practical steps — but ultimately, we leave the outcome in His hands. The Prophet ﷺ reassured us of this when he said:
"If you were to rely upon Allah with true reliance, He would provide for you just as He provides for the bird: it goes out in the morning hungry and returns full."
[Jami’ at-Tirmidhi 2344]
So take a deep breath, make your efforts, and trust that Allah ﷻ will guide your heart to what is truly best for you — in this life and the next.
Look for a Spouse with Deen
We all want a spouse who is kind, understanding, and compatible with us. But how do we know who’s “right”? The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ gave us the perfect advice:
"A woman is married for four reasons: her wealth, her status, her beauty, and her religion. Choose the religious one, and you will succeed."
[Sahih al-Bukhari 5090]
This goes both ways, whether you’re looking for a husband or wife, prioritising deen means choosing someone who loves Allah ﷻ, because that love will guide how they treat you. No one is perfect, but a person who strives to please Allah ﷻ will approach marriage with patience, kindness, and mercy.
Make Dua, Istikhara & Ask for Allah’s ﷻ Guidance
Still feeling unsure? This is exactly why we have dua! The Prophet ﷺ taught us a beautiful supplication for marriage:
"O Allah, I ask You for her goodness and the goodness upon which You have created her, and I seek refuge in You from her evil and the evil upon which You have created her."
[Sunan Abu Dawood 2160]
Turn to Allah ﷻ and ask for clarity. If you’re considering someone for marriage, make dua for guidance. If you’re feeling doubts, pray istikhara and trust that Allah ﷻ will direct you toward what is best. Some of the most heartfelt duas are made in moments of stillness — like during tahajjud — so don’t underestimate their power.
Shift the Focus from “What If” to “What Can Be”
Instead of worrying about all the things that could go wrong, think of marriage as an opportunity for growth. No one finds the “perfect” person — but when two people come together with sincerity and faith, they can build something beautiful. Allah ﷻ describes marriage in the Qur’an as:
"And among His Signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may find tranquility in them, and He has placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed, in that are Signs for those who reflect."
[Surah Ar-Rum, 30:21]
A strong marriage isn’t built on perfection — it’s built on trust, patience, and a shared commitment to pleasing Allah. And that’s what truly brings peace and happiness.
Practical Steps to Make the Right Choice
If you’re still feeling overwhelmed, here are some simple steps to help you make a confident decision:
- Strengthen your iman – The more connected you are to Allah ﷻ, the clearer your decisions will feel.
- Sisters - involve your wali – Your wali (guardian) or trusted family members can offer wisdom and guidance.
- Educate yourself – Learn about the rights and responsibilities of marriage so you know what to expect.
- Focus on character – The Prophet ﷺ emphasised good character as one of the best qualities in a spouse.
- Pray istikhara – Seek Allah’s ﷻ guidance at every step so you can move forward with peace of mind.
Final Thoughts
It’s completely normal to have fears about marriage, but don’t let them stop you from moving forward with trust in Allah ﷻ. Every couple you see today once stood where you are — hopeful, unsure, and making dua for the best. And subhanAllah, with tawakkul and preparation, they found their way.
May Allah ﷻ bless you with a spouse who is the coolness of your eyes, a partner in faith, and a source of endless barakah in your life. Ameen.