Women are honoured in Islam. The gift of mahr from the groom to the bride is a symbol of his commitment and responsibility towards her. This gift becomes the exclusive property of the bride. The amount of mahr is not fixed and can vary, depending on the mutual agreement between the bride and groom. The beauty of Islam also allows that the mahr is something that the groom can afford and won’t overburden him. The giving of this gift strengthens the emotional connection between the spouses and deepens the bond in starting their new journey together in marriage.
What is Mahr?
Mahr is the gift that the wife is entitled to from her husband when the marriage contract is completed. It can be almost anything, from money, a trip, jewellery, a copy of the Qur'an, a kitten, or even an agreement to memorise the Qur'an. According to the majority of jurists, mahr is not a condition or essential part of the marriage contract it is however, one of the consequences of the contract. Even if the marriage contract is done without specifying the mahr, it remains valid, based on the consensus of the majority of the scholars. The gift of mahr allows the wife to feel a sense of love, respect and honour that Allah has bestowed upon her.
Allah ﷻ states in the Quran: “And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart.” [al-Nisa 4:4]
Who Decides the Mahr?
The mahr can be mutually agreed between the two spouses in relation to the norms and customs of the people.
Shaykh Ibn `Uthaymin (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “The words ‘If they agree upon something before that, that is permissible’ emphasize the flexibility in determining the mahr, allowing for agreement between the parties involved.
This process ensures clarity and fairness in the process of determining the mahr, promoting harmony and understanding among between the spouses.
How much should the Mahr be?
There is no set limit of mahr that the husband must gift to his wife. The deen gives flexibility for the mahr to be agreed upon by the couple. If needed the husband can also agree the mahr between himself and the wife's guardian. The best example from the prophet Muhammad ﷺ is to make the Mahr smaller and to be easy-going concerning this matter.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: "The best of dowries is the easiest." [Sunan Ibn Majah, Book 9, Hadith 1887]
"The Prophet ﷺ gave a mahr to some of his wives which was equivalent to the weight of 12 and a half ounces of silver"[Sunan Ibn Majah, Book 9, Hadith 1876].
The mahr of the wives of the Prophetﷺ in was approximately 12.5 ounces of silver, at the time of writing this equates to about $410 USD or £320 GBP (this may vary at the time of reading). Following this example can be a way to ensure the mahr remains reasonable.
Lowering the mahr makes marriage more accessible and less financially burdensome, allowing more people to get married without facing financial obstacles.
Is Marriage Valid Without Mahr?
The marriage contract can be completed without specifying the mahr. This marriage contract is still valid and the wife is entitled to a mahr similar to that of her peers. This allows the wife to receive her rightful gift even if it was not specified initially.
Ibn Qudamah (may Allah have mercy on him) said in Al-Mughni (7/182): “There is no sin on you, if you divorce women while yet you have not touched (had sexual relation with) them, nor appointed unto them their mahr (bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage)” [Al-Baqarah 2:236].
This verse and its interpretation highlight that the validity of the marriage is not contingent on the mention of mahr at the time of the contract, ensuring that the wife’s rights are always protected.
Can the Father of the Bride Take the Mahr Without the Bride’s Approval?
The mahr is the right of the wife, and it is not permitted for anyone else to take it except with her approval. The mahr is an honour and a symbol of respect and commitment given and exclusively to the wife from her husband.
Abu Salih said:“When a man married off his daughter, he would take her mahr away from her, but Allah forbade them to do that, and gave women the right to the mahr they received.” [Tafsir Ibn Kathir]
This statement highlights the importance of ensuring that the mahr remains with the wife, underscoring the protection and respect Islam provides to women regarding their financial rights in marriage.
Summary
In Islam, mahr is an obligatory gift from the groom to the bride showing honour and respect towards her. At the time of writing, the sunnah amount is the equivalent of about $410 USD or £320 GBP. Once gifted, it becomes the exclusive property of the bride. The mahr should be agreed upon mutually, in fairness, and considerate of the groom's financial ability. The gifting of mahr is not only an honour for the groom to give but it is also an honour for his bride to receive.
May Allah ﷻ grant you righteous spouses who honour each other, aameen!